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Don’t you love it. The well meaning stranger comments on how cute your children are, then proceeds to tell you in almost the same breath to enjoy it while you can because the teenage years are a beast.
It took a few times of this playing out for us that we began to respond with more than just a polite smile.
“We look forward to loving on our children and growing with them even when they are teenagers,” we said earnestly.
Now, I can see you already. Shaking your head either because you have teens and enjoy is not the adjective you would use. Or because you’ve heard someone else rant about their experience with their own teen age children.
So, here’s the deal. You can’t let someone else’s negative experience become your own reality. We didn’t.
Our Bigs, ages 19,18,and 16 are pleasant to be around. And I don’t say that because I’m their mother. On the contrary. I’ve seen them on their best and worst days.
Time and time again, people who have the opportunity to interact with them; ask how we overcame the emotional, hormone filled, transformational teen years. They see something different in their character. Praise God.
During this phase of childhood , we have partnered with God by incorporating the following into our parenting arsenal.
- Be intentional about incorporating Biblical principles into everyday life. And if you’re a homeschooler this means not just the Bible lesson that’s part of your curriculum. After all, the mark of a godly education is a changed heart.
- Be vigilant about what your children read, watch and listen to. Every song, story and movie has a worldview. As a matter of fact we all have a worldview. And it’s the way we think about everything trivial or profound. In his book The Universe Next Door, James Sire defines worldview as what we show by our words and actions. It’s important to remember that conflicting views produce conflicting actions.
- Be relational. This has been one of my biggest struggles, partly because I’m an introvert(no really, I am) and partly because I’m often a better listener than talker! Thankfully, my husband excels in this area and has taught me so much about engaging in meaningful conversations with our teens.
Friends, please note that I’m not claiming to be a perfect parent or have perfect children. I’m reminded each day of the sinful nature in myself and my children. As a Christian, I’m endeavoring to raise children in accordance to God’s Word.
Children who glorify the Lord and take the lessons of faith and Gospel truth to their generation and beyond.
Now it’s your turn. Please join the conversation by answering this question in the comments. Tell me one tool you have in your parenting toolbox?
Thanks for this! I’m always so sad when people disparage the teen years. Of course there are difficult things to navigate, but we have LOVED parenting our teens. This goes along with Be Intentional, but I’ll add Be Present. So much can pull on our attention, but it’s extra important to remain present, available, and interested in them as people. Our presence teaches them to value and to be “present” with others too.
We are still in the toddler stage and I know what you mean about others’ negative comments on teenagers. Even with having a toddler people expect us to say it’s a horrible time! It’s definitely trying, but it’s also full of joy. And I’m hoping that’s what having teenagers will be like too!
This is beautiful, Tiffany! Thanks for “going there”!
Thank you for your affirming words Dawn! I appreciate you taking the time to visit.
Hello! I’m stopping over from the COAH forum:) I loved this post, being intentional is something I’m working on with my sons. I believe it’s of upmost importance to intentionally model Christ!
Hi Teri! I’m so glad you stopped by! You’re absolutely right, intentionally modeling Christ is so important and challenging! After all a sermon lived is much better than a sermon preached.